Pornography is something that many people turn to for education about eroticism. However, it’s not meant to educate, it’s meant to entertain. People turn to it because they want to see what sex looks like. Then, they start using it as a bit of an outlet, an addictive outlet, just to get off. 

What happens to the brain and body when watching porn

Porn skips the desire period. That time when you need to drop into your body to feel sensual and erotic and instead goes straight to getting off. Your penis works, but you’re not feeling anything from an emotional point of view. That’s problematic because you might zone out and not think about how your body feels, or how your penis feels when you’re touching it. For example, you might start to play with it and get more heavy-handed, then your fist grip is getting harder. If you’re watching a lot of pornography, you need to pay attention to these things. What can happen is your grip gets harder, and then that in turn feels nothing like a vagina which means that when you’re having sex with a vagina, it’s not going to be as satisfying. Or it’s going to be difficult to get off, or you’ll lose your erection, or you might delay your ejaculation.

The missing person

If you’re just trying to ‘pump one out’ you’re in turn training your penis to come very quickly which then leads to premature ejaculation issues as well. Because you’ve been watching porn, you might not realise that you need to focus the pleasure on the other person as well, and on being connected as a couple. Traditionally, women’s pleasure is absolutely neglected in porn. Most scenarios show the male getting off, finishing and then off he goes about his day. Unfortunately, that’s a reality of most real-life scenarios these days too and many men don’t know what the alternative is.

Helpful stuff

When quitting porn you can go cold turkey. Which is very hard, but there’s a lot of help. There are apps that stop porn sites from being used on your phone or desktop.

Brain Buddy For Porn Addiction  & Fortify – these resources are great and have been around for years. They have support groups, calendar tracking and lots of motivational materials. I worry that some similar sites can be quite harsh, using language such as: what would you do if your parents knew you were watching porn? That’s not the point! Brain Buddy is my preferred of the two because it talks about your mood and checks in to see how you’re feeling. It also has missions and quests. It helps you on your journey and has lots of scientific research to help you heal any unhealthy patterns.